CatNip
by EmoNekoNinja
Summary: Edward smokes catnip and is REALLY high ... WARNING: contains large amount traves of stupidity. leave now, if u are in the weak heated group. ...aww! screw the Rules! -reads- :gets better with grammer, spelling, content as time progresses! I Pinky swear!:
1. etch a sketch

**Etch-a-sketches**

Edward and roy were telling each other random things about them selfs…

" well im a Scorpio " Roy said

" Really cause im a Phsycopath!" Edward said

"um...my dad put me in a closet when I was 3" Roy said

" oh well, my dad came out of the closet when I was 4." Edward said

"um..i have imaginary friend named basco.." Roy said

" OMG u know Basco?!?" Edward said

**AKAKSKAKAKSKSKA**

Roy and Ed were in a car and roy was drivin…

" OMG!!!" Edward cried

Roy swerves the car and says "WHAT?!"

" I found my I-pod in the clove box." Edward said

" GEZZ!! Don't do that!" Roy said

later

" –really big gasp- " Edward gasped

" WHAT?!?!?" roy asked

" a squirrel! Its so cute!" Edward said

" Stop! Gezzus!" Roy said

" Gods son? WERE!?!?!? i want in autograph!!!" Edward cried

" oi vae!" Roy said

**WASATSJKSGKGJ**

" Roy, last year 4 halloween I dyed my fingers yellow and my eyes were all red. you'll never belive it but I went as a chain smoker! then I came home with a bag full of breath mints and Rehab pamphlets." Edward said

Roy was just like… "whoa…"

**DAFDAJFSJKGSD**

"Roy!!!! I got a question!" Edward came in

" O god, please don't ask how u can rip ur pubic hair out in 8 different places at once.." Roy asked

" no…but that's a good I dea…..But!!! Al and me were fighting about what side the sliver wear gose on by the plate and he said the left and I said the right so I don't know…but anyway my question is if a cow was born in a tree is it a bird ?"

" what? Um…I don't know …yes…now go away!" Roy said

**DAHJDJFWSR**

" ROY!!! I go an imaginary Etch-a-sketch from Basco!!"

Roy looked up " Really now? "

Edward smiled "yep! Lets play um…Describe a person!! Like on CSI!"

"what?" Roy asked

"were u start to describe a person and I draw what they look like!"

"..OK!" Roy said and he sat on the floor cross-leged

" ok start!" Edward said as he

"um…a guy…hes about 20-" Roy started

" was he by any chance going down stairs?" Edward asked

"no…and he has pants.." Roy said

"ok.." Edward said as he was turning the nobs on the etch a sketch

" and a scar on his face." Roy said

" Wait he has a scar? Man, u have to tell me This!" Edward said as he Shook the etch-a-sketch and started over.

**END!**


	2. gang snuggle

**Gang Snuggle**

" Roy!" Edward cried loudly as he skipped in to Roys office

" oh god…what did u do now Fullmetal?" Roy asked

" i want to talk about rainbows." Edward said

" rainbows?" roy asked

" Yep!...i remember once… I was **ATTACKED** by a giant screaming rainbow!!!!!!!! But then I noticed it was just technical difficulties …" Edward said

" …wtf?" Roy said

" Oh! I also have sharpies !!!" and Edward whipped out the mini sharpies " Sharpies...shiff the rainbow!"

" Oh god! No! No sharpies!!! Don't u remember chapter 2??" Roy asked

" aww ur no fun…oh and skittles? Fuck that tastes MY rainbow" Edward said

" don't worry I will!" Roy said

"um…oh look at my new rainbow tie!" Edward said as he moved his coat to show a rainbow tie…but the end was in his pants.. "who said there's no treasure at the end of the rainbow?" Edward said as he moved his eye brows up and down

"…" Roy was speech less….O my flippen squeek…Roy was speech less!!!! It's the **APOCALYPSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

not really….

**INSERT-LINE-HERE**

Edward was sitting there being Emo cause Roy said u cant like rainbows and be emo at the same time when Sasuke and Garra come up and sat next to him

"hey" sasuke said

"HI!" Garra said

" ello! Im Edward…who r u guys?"

" Sasuke the depressed-and-gay emo kid" sasuke said

" AND IM GARRA!! The HAPPY-TO-BE-RANDOM EMO KID!!" garra yelled

" OMG!! Are u guys emo 2?" Edward asked

" yep…were the emo squad…we want u to join..but first u have to…." Sasuke started

" I have to whatt???" Edward asked all Emo like

" Kiss sasuke!" Garra cried

DUN.

DUN.

EFFIN

DUN.

" Kiss Sasuke? When did that happen?" Sasuke asked

" I WAS BORED!" Garra said

DUN.

DUN.

DUN.

" um..so what do I have to do?" Edward asked

" u have to prove ur emo." Sasuke said

" ok how do I do that?" Edward asked

"KISS SASUKE!!!!" Garra cried

DUN.

DUN.

DUN!!

" no! god…just take this test" Sasuke said

" ok…" Edward said as he brook out an eyeliner pencil!!! And started the test

then Edward finished after like EVER! Not really… and gave it to sasuke who looked it over…and garra bounced up and down next to him tring to read..

-----later----

" ok ur in" Sasuke said

" YES! A NEW MEMBER!!" Garra said as he jumped around

" I thought he was Emo" Edward said

" he is he just has H.E.K…Hyperactive Emo Kid" Sasuke said

" REALLY?!?!?! I HAVE THAT TO!! Just not as bad…." Edward said

" um..ok…u can be ether the Mountain-dew-infested Emo kid or the-"

" PISSED-OFF-ATT-THE-WORLD-BECAUSE-THEY-DON'T-UNDERSTAND-MY-PROBLUMS-LIKE-HYPERACTIVE-EMO-KID-SINDRUM EMO KID!!!" Garra said

" I want the first one!!!" EmoNeko cried randomly from the keybord as she was tring to type this with a mountain dew in her hand…

" ok the Ill take the long ass second one…" Edward said

" ok now all u have to do is-" Sasuke started

" KISS SASUKE!!!!!!" Garra said

" why do u want Edward to kiss me?" Sasuke asked

" Cause I wanna c some YAOI ACTION!!" Garra cried

" um…I cant cause I love Roy!" Edward said

" its fine Edo!!" some were Roy yelled from the distance

"um…ok…" Edward said and he tackled/glomped Sasuke and was making out with him…

" WEEEEE!!!!" Garra said as he was taking pictures for black mail

**Insert-line-here **

" Barney, im pregnant" Envy said

" WHAT?!?!?!?" Barney cried

**Insert-line-thingy-here**

" we also have the Im-to-hott-to-roll-on-the-ground emo kid PETE WENTZ!!!" Garra cried

" OMG REALLY?!?!? PETE WENTZ?!?!?HOLY CRAP!!!" Edward said in a fanboy-iy voice

" hey we got a new member?" pete said

" OMG PETE WENTZ!!" Edward said as he tackled his leg

" –gasp- OMG EDWARD ELRIC!!!" Pete said and he tackled eds leg

" OMG GANG SNUGGLE!!!" Sasuke/Garra cried as they both tackled Ed and Pete

a random fangirl passed and saw the gang snuggle and said " AWWW! SO CUTE!" and took plenty of pictures for…wait 4 it…PHOTOBUCKET!

Dun.

DUN.

FLIPPIN

**DUN**.


	3. Annoying Friends and Hott Man smex

God this was…soooo random

EmoNeko burst threw the door of Eds apartment and was talking to a slightly conscious Ed

"""""Im so effin high! its amazing! not really...my mom said "take these pills" cause i had a pain in my cheast and i was like "MOM!!! help im dying!" she was lookin at me like 'wtf?' and she was like "ur not dying...just take these and u will feel better" and i did and like ..waow!!!!!! my computer smells funny! man maybe i should call sondra! cause she dose that to me...she'll call me at like 3 in the effien morrning and she'll be high..AGAIN! ill be sleepin and she calls and im like "...Ello?" all tierd and crap and shell be like "HI!!! I WAS THINKIN ABOUT MARSHMELLOW WITH A BONER AGAIN! I JUST LOVE PETE WENTZ AND HAVE U SEEN THE SKY LATELY???? ITS SO EFFIEN BLUE! CAN IT GET ANY BLUER?!?!? bluer...THATS A FUNNY WORD!! ANIT IT MOWIE?? HUH MOWIE ????" and im like "...-snore-...Sondra...STOP CALLING AT 3 IN THE FUCKING MORRNING!!!" and she was like " UR HIGH 2??!?!?!? WOW!!! THATS AMAZING!!!! I CANT BELEAVE IT...OMIGAWD I SAW AN EDO BUTT!!!" Ed is her cat and then shes like " ITS SO ORANGE AND HIS NUTS! OMIGAWD DONT GET ME STARTED ABOUT HIS NUTS! THERE SO CUTE AND ROUND AND ADORIB- wait...Hello? damn...she hung up...ILL CALL AGAIN!! JUST TO ANOY HER!!!" -ring...ring- ' I am sorry but this number has been blocked because UR ANOYING THE CRAP OUT OF THIS USER!!!! STOP CALLING SO FUCKIN EARLIY!!!!!!! thank u for ur time! Good bye!' then she'll Be like "hmm...the numbers blocked Eh?...-runs to golf Coarse across the street- I NEED A PHONE!!!" and the person will be like.."oh shit dont kill me!" and hands her the Phone and she'll be like "THANX BITCH" and she'll call me and i'll aweser again all tierd " i dont wan any girl scout cookies lady!" and sondra will be like" COOKIES WERE??!?!?!? WERES PETES SQUISHY?!?!? MOUNTAIN DEW I LOVE U! mEOw mIx MeoW MiX...NUMMA NUMMA MOWIE!!!!! " and i will have already turned off the phones and dissconected it because i am tired...ok im done…Bye!""""""

and she left the room…

Ed was sitting here…in shock that EmoNeko was like that and had a REALLY annoying Friend but still likes her anyway…………..

The Roy came in from the WINDOW! Wait…Yeah the WINDOW!!!!

"Hi Roy!" Ed shouted as he tackled Roy!

Then they started to have hott steamy Smex right there on the floor!

Not really….

END!!!


	4. Fudge

**Fudge**

Roy was staring at Edward lustfully. He really wanted to take all Eds cloths off and fuck him right then and there but he figured he would make it interesting.

"Edo-Kun , this room is empty with only You and me, with freshly bought strawberries, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream……… do You get where I'm going?" the colonel asked, a hungry look in his eyes.

Edward looked at Roy with a confused look on his face. " I get where ur going but I don't think food will make a very good abortion center Roy-San."

Roy looked at Ed and just laughed.

Ed just sat there " whats the fudge is so funny?"

" what the Fudge?" Roy repeated

" yes fudge. Its for kids to say when they cant say Fuck." Ed said

" but u can say fuck." Roy said back

" I know. I just like fudge better."

"hmm…fudge or fuck…..id rather Fuck u than eat some fudge Edo-Kun" Roy said

Edward looked at Roy with lust in his eyes.

" with freshly bought strawberries, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream." Roy added

" Roy-San! Didn't we already go though this? No abortion center can be made with food! Jezz." Edward said as he walked off.


	5. Yamithecardmaster

**Yamithecardmaster**

Yami was sittin there in mustangs office shooting Winry with a rocket launcher 50 times.

Yami was about 5' 9" with brown hair with blue highlights and has blue eyes . He has a tatoo of a dragon on his left arm, white skin and usually wares sleeveless shirts and blue shorts. (that's what he is wereing at the moment in my story…DEAL WITH IT!)

Then, Roy burst threw the door carying Neko bridle style then yelling " Yami! Get up and uh hold ur arms out!!"

Yami was like "wtf?! NOOO! I don't wanna be raped by a Bi-Queer!!!!"

Yami appenently didnt know that Neko was (like Roy) a Bi-Queer(a half gay Bisexual)

Neko was the like "what the fudge ? u dont wanna be raped by me?" still being held by roy.

The Edo-Kun burst threw the door in a…omi fudge…hes wereing a red dress with fake boob..wait… OMG! THOUGHS ARE REALL!!!!! HES A CHICK!

Then Edo was like "no im just really good at desk-i-ziz and I really cant believe Neko is to lazy for spell chek."

Neko the got out of Roys…molesting hold and bitch slaped Edo.

"I know im lazy but u don't have to point it out!!!!" and the neko said "Winry!!! Stop being dead and get over here!"

Winry magically revived from being dead and said "what is it oh Neko Queen Serenity??" (1)

" uh…Y DOSE SHE LIVE!!!! THE PAIN!!! MY EYES THE BURN!!" yami said as he started rolling on the floor like a maniac.

" o fuck. Yami! HES DYING!!" Neko cried

"Um dose any one now C.P.R.???" Roy yelled

the winry being the dumb-ass acorn from….uh acorn land said "cpr? I cant even spell it!!"

" just like u don't know what 911's number is?" neko asked

"yea!" winry cried . then I got bored of her and sent her to be an idiot with Ino and Sakura from naruto…were they were having an argue ment about food

Sakura: CHEESE!

Ino: CHICKEN!!!

Winry: uh…C IS FOR COOKIE THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!

Then Ino and Sakura stared at the acorn person…whose name escapes me…

And they all started singing

BUT BACK TO THE IMPORTANT STORY!

Neko being a SMART person new cpr and saved yami…after a few moments of making out…that is XD

"um ok! What do you wanna do to day Yami?" Neko Asked Yami

"um…well I already made out with u neko, shot the acorn allot, um I guess I wanna make out with lust and then play gears of war with Al, Roy and Edo-Kun" Yami said

"ok..then" and Neko Snaped her fingers and in came lust…the shovel

"lust! Make out with Yami!" and lust did " AND GRIND HIM!!!" Neko yelled from the couch

-that's probably disturbing for some readers-

LATER!

"now! Al Edo-Kun and Roy-San, play Gears Of War with Yami…then later we can play DDR!

"W00T!" they cried

-later-

"im winning!" yami yelled

"well of coarse you r. no one else knows how to play!" Neko said laughing at how bad ed an roy were sucking.

Al was unconscious from his own stupidity. Poor soul.

"ok this is point less." Roy said after...uh dieing? (I wouldn't know I u can die in that game) Yeah lets say that.

"ok..DDR time!!" Edo cried as he broke out the mat thing.

"ME FIRST!!" neko cried and she jumped on the mat.

Yami jumped on the second mat. "me two!!"

"ok then…Ed! Chose a song!" neko cried

"ok! –eivil smirk-" and ed put on the Red Zone.

"not red zone!" neko cried

"why?" every one asked

"Omg..do u anime characters know any thing? Red Zone is like the most effing hardest level ever!" Neko said.

"ok screw this!" Ed yelled an ran away.

"id rather screw u neko!" Yami said

neko looked at yami then said " um…TO THE SUPLIY CLOSET!!!" and Yami and Neko went scene again until 3 hours later!

I wonder what 4? Winry asked

O god..the idiot acorn…just go away…

NEVER!!!!!

-bang-

-dies-

Ha! I win!

**Well…that was akward**

**1..sailor moons Neo Queen Serenity with an added K**


	6. Panda Happy Dance!

**Panda happy dance!**

Roy was sitting there…doing his work, at his desk when all of a sudden-

"Roy!!!" Edward cried as he ran threw the door. His face was tear stained and his cloths were all ripped and falling off.

"Edo-Kun! Baby, whats rong?" Roy asked as he sat down on the couch with Edward

" it was awful Woy-San! I ...I… I saw a Face, in my mirror and-" Edward started

"did it have a nose?" Roy asked…Even with a striate face!

"uh...yes. i-it did."

"that dose sound like a face!" Roy said and did his little happy dance and in came giant pandas in bikinis with a cream cheese hose. they then sprayd the cream cheese around the room and ballons came out of the floor and they did the disco.

Edward just sat there… …watching.

Cause he wanted to.


	7. Onnnneeee

Edward was sitting there being bored as hell in Roys office while he worked. Soooo…he broke out in song!

"Onneeee is the loneliest number that you'll ever doooo..." Edward sang.

"Edward." Roy warned

"Twoooo can be as bad as one, but the loneliest number is the number one!" Edward sang and by that time he was standing on Roy's desk with all his shirts off. Don't ask why.

"o god. So sexy….damn it. Edward Elric! Get down here so I can take you over my desk right now!!"

….lets just say that was the last song herd from Roys office that day….unless moaning and screaming are music to u…XD


	8. Talent show

**Ello!! i did not die! I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!**

"Edooooo!!!!!!" Roy called all girly like

"what Rooy-san?" Edward asked so sweat and cutely

"theres a military talent show and I want u and me to be in it!!!" roy said as he started to jump up and down all hypery and stuff.

"a talent show? Hmm…only if I can do my oun skit ." Ed said

"hmpf! Fine!" and roy walked off.

**LINE…LINE**

"welcome to the military talent show!!!!" said uh…Riza

"our first act is Jean Havoc!"

insert Applause

Havoc came up to the stage and sang the emo razor song!

"o god" I said from the computer

"_oh, I wish I was a mini razor!_

_Oh, I wish I was a mini razor!_

_I go cutty cutty cutty,_

_And make al the emos bloody,_

_Oh I wish I was a mini razor!"_

Insert emo applause

"o…kay and next is….Armstrong with….uh…o mi god" the color driand from riza's face " with the song 'its raining men' …."

Uh…were going to skip that one…it ended bably...people in the crowd were throwing up uncontrollably….Edward fainted 3 times……Al lost 7 kittys to the incident…..there were almost no survivors of the kittys….Hughes went blind…..and Roy was brain rape several times…

THIS TALENT SHOW WILL BE COUNTINUED TOMORROW!!!" Riza said from the ambulance. She lost a couple of insides…kidney, spleen, appendix…..

**THE NEXT DAY!!**

"ok were all better and Armstrong was sent to a mind refixing center….next is Roy Mustang with The Tears of Pearls by Savage Garden!" Riza said with some bandages all over her.

Roy walked on stage in a nice black pinstripe suit "this song is to my Sugar baby Edo-Koi" Roy said

and said Edo-Koi just blushed

Cue music…

"_And we stare each other down like victims in the grind.  
_

_Probing all the weaknesses and hurt still left behind and we cry  
_

_The tears of peeeeaaaarrrrlllls,"_

"_We do it…….. Oh we do it."  
_

"_Is love really the tragedy the way you might describe?  
_

_Or would a thousand lovers still leave you cold inside.  
_

_Make you cry...these tears of peeeeeeeaaaaaaaarrrrlllllsss."  
_

"_All these mixed emotions we keep locked away like stolen pearls.  
_

_Stolen pearl devotions we keep locked away from all the word."  
_

"_Your kisses are like pearls, so different and so rare  
_

_But anger stole the jewels away and love has left you bare  
_

_Made you cry...These tears of peeeeaaaarrrrlllls."  
_

"_Well I could be a tired joker  
_

_pour my heart to get you in  
_

_sacrifice my happiness, just so i could win.  
_

_Maybe cry……… these tears of peeeeeeeaaaaaaaarrrrlllllsss".  
_

"_All these mixed emotions we keep locked away like stolen pearls  
_

_Stolen pearl devotions we keep locked away from all the world."  
_

"_We twist and turn where angels burn  
_

_Like fallen soldiers we will learn  
_

_That once forgotten, twice removed  
_

_Love will be the death...  
_

_The death of you."  
_

"_All these mixed emotions we keep locked away like stolen pearls  
_

_Stolen pearl devotions we keep locked away from all the world."_

Applause!!!

" And next is Edward Elric with…The Real Sugar Baby!!!" Riza said

Edo walled up stage and said in a cute high pitch girl voice

" my song is to prove I am THE sugar baby…the Real one! and Roy's only one."

( this song had some things that couldn't be there like 'girl' and stuff… I changed it…DEAL WITH IT!!)

And then Ed started to sing his wittle song

"_Test-test-test_

_Hello?_

_Are we ready to go here?_

_-Clears throat- May I have your attention please?_

Crowd: What?

_May I have your attention please?_

Crowd: Yeah!

_Will the real Sugar baby please speak up?_

_We're gonna have a problem here!_

_You'all act like you've never heard a little white guy before_

_Jaws all on the floor_

_Acting like you can buy me in a sugar store_

Roy: Cha-ching

_Crusing the halls_

_You must be looking for more_

_Cos I'm bigger than that_

_And I wont be stuck on the floor_

_Haha-haha-haha_

Roy: What you laughing at?

_You'all talking like, ah wait, no way! You're kidding!_

_he didn't just sound like I think he did did he?_

Roy: Yeah yeah yeah

_Hey-Hey-Hey where's sugar?_

Roy: Where you at?

_I'm right here! Sleeping in Moca's pocket!_

_Te-he_

_Sugar-sugar-sugar-sugar sugar-baby, sugar-baby!_

_I'm sugar baby, the REAL sugar baby_

_So all you other sugar babys are just imatating_

_So wont the real sugar baby please jump up, _

_please jump up, please jump up!_

_Cos sugar baby, the REAL sugar baby_

_So all you other sugar babys are just imatating_

_So wont the real sugar baby please jump up, _

_please jump up, please jump up!_

_Woah!_

_Look at him, walking around with his own crew,_

_Mad Dog and Billy and Moca too!_

Roy_: he's so damn short though!_

Ed: WHAT?

Roy: _Yeah!_

Ed:….

Roy: -sigh- That's my guy though!

_And there's a million of us just like me,_

_Fuss like me, just don't give a f..._

_OH! -put hand in front of mouth- I would never say that!_

Roy: Sugar!

_Dress like me, walk like me, have hair like me_

_And might just be the next best thing, but not quite me!_

And Ed shook his finger as in saying 'naught-naughty'

_I'm sugar baby, the REAL sugar baby_

_So all you other sugar babys are just imatating_

_So wont the real sugar baby please jump up, _

_please jump up, please jump up!_

_Cos sugar baby, the REAL sugar baby_

_So all you other sugar babys are just imatating_

_So wont the real sugar baby please jump up, _

_please jump up, please jump up!_

_Woah!_

_Oh and could the rest of you please um… lie down _

_'cos I can't see anything, Thanks!_

_Sugar-sugar-sugar-sugar-sugar sugar-baby, sugar-baby_!"

All the girls (plus Roy) in the crowd were all like " Awww!!!!!!!"

But the guys were sweat droping like no tomorrow.

Then I came up and said "the winner buy my say is Edward! With The Real Sugar Baby!!!!!"

Edward looked up and squeeked " REALLY?!?!?! OMG!!!!" and he ran up stage and collected his prize. A life time supply of ………Ed/Roy Manga and fanfiction!!!!!

"WHAT?!?!?!?" a reader of my story cried " NO FAIR!!!" and they went all emo and cried in there emo corner for an hour until they committed suicide…that poor soul…


	9. PrideEdo

Peep...

XXXXX

Edo was a homunculus. Oh no!!!! he was Pride….damn good thing I can change what ever I want!

Anyway,

Know that Ed was a homunculus Envy was sooooooo happy.

Well pride was sitting there when a of a sudden some person just tackled him, giggled and left.

Pride sat up and blinked. Either that person just stole something from him, or he just got laid in under 3 seconds.

XXXXXX

Since Edo was pride he needed to eat the red stones now….Lust came up and said 'Eat" and left.

'hmmm….ok!' so Pride being the curious little monkey he is ate them….seconds later he had really bad cramps and stuff…and no it wasn't PMS.

Maybe swallowing rocks wasn't such a good idea, huh, dumb ass?

XXXXXX

Pride now had to meet the almighty master!

So Pride slowly opened the door and there with wrath sitting in his lap, was…

Michel Jackson

Dun dun Duuuuuuuunnnnnn!!!!!!!!

XXXX

Seriously

dun Dun DUUUUUNNNN!!!!!


	10. Princess Envy!

More Homunculus stuff!

XAXAXAXA

"Envy!!!!" Edo er….i mean Pride said as he walked in to Envys room.

"GOD DAMN IT PRIDE!!! WHAT!?!?" Envy yelled.

"-gasp- i..i -sniff- just wanted to…-sniff- tell u.. that…that -brakes down in sobs-." Pride said and , he did break down in sobs

"o fuck! Pride, babe, im so sorry…im just really tried from last night" HintHint WinkWink NudgeNudge

"oh…well I wanted to say the me and Wrath are Princesses!!!" Pride said and Wrath came in with a tiara on and…uhhh….-shudder- one of Lust's bimbo dresses.

Thank god Pride was in one of Sloth's …regular dresses. And a _way_ better looking tiara than wrath.

"Envy-Sama do u wanna play Princesses with us?" Wrath asked all cute like. AWWW! –tackle- …..errrrr….ummmmm…..annny wayyy,

"Pwease Envy-_Koi _?" Pride said with a bit of lust in the way he said Koi.

"…only if I can were what I have on. I ANIT ware-ing one of those bimbos dresses." Envy said

"YAY!!!" Pride and Wrath said in unison. And then they dragged envy off to his DEWM!!! Not really….

OR REALLY!?!?!?!

NOT AGAIN!!

OR IS IT AGAIN?!?!?!?

I THOUGHT I MURDERED U!!!

OR DID U?!?!?!

-sigh- …-grabs shovle-…-bang-

Agh! –faints-

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OR IS IT MUHAHAHAHAHAHA?!?!?!

…..

XXXXX

" I Princess Pride-

"and I Princess Wrath-

" Dumb thee, Princess Envy!!!" they both said in unison…whats with the unison crap?

"-clears throat- I Princess Envy say I look Fabulous in this Tiara!" Envy said….his tiara had "ENVY" in Dark-dark green rine stones. Pride made it himself.

"Thank u Pride for the…tiara-niss-is-isity…" Envy said and kissed Pride on the cheek.

"Aww! ur welcome Envy-sama" and he tackled envy and huggled him…Aww! And I chucked a camera at Wrath with a sticky note saying BLACKMAIL on it.

Now… Wrath being cute and adorable as he is…and a complete dumb ass….didnt know what the fuck a camera was and experimented buy putting the camera up to his face, and clicking the button, which caused a flash which cause poor adorable Wrathy-kun to go blind….but the other 2 princesses didn't notice because they were making out to My Chemical Romance. The Perfect Make Out music Duh!


	11. HintHint NudgeNudge WinkWink

"Quack" Edward said ….

Then The Pride!Ed from the earlier jumped through the window " Meow!!!"

Ed looked at pride

Pride looked at Ed

They tackled each other, and they started doing….things

(if u wanna read winkWink hintHint it will maybe be in a story drabble thingy called 'Yaoi…our anti drug' soon to be made!!!)

then wrath and Al came in the room in tiaras (XD) and looked at the Edo/Pride mass of …niss and they screamed, Envy heard wrath and came running, saw the pride/edo niss…morfed in to Edo (with out auto mail) and joined there…little group..to create the very first three some I ever written about!!!!!

Marshmellow came in then, saw the three some and started to…….

Video tape it!!!!

For future viewing of this recent activity.

Then he put the video in his mouth and ran to the mail box and sent it too…..

Chibi-Elric-Chan

OMG REALLY?!?!?!?!?! """ Oddi said from he computer, she was totally flippen out and every thing until she past out from the lack of normal niss in the room.

Damn u random hyper-ness-is-isiy


	12. Movement

Movement

Edward walked in to HQ. he passed havoc, who was standing perfectly still…weird…

He passed hawkeye ….she was standing still to….

And Hughes …..he was standing still too?? WITH NO PICTURES?!?!?!? WHAT THE HELLL WAS WRONG WITH EVERY ONE?!?!?!?!!!!

"whats going on guys?" Edward asked as he walked in to the cornels office

"MOVEMENT!!!! ATTACK!!!" Mustang came up from behind his desk and tackled Edo….to do things….(hehe…more like do Edward)

and that was the day Roy REALLY did fuck every thing that moves.


	13. Mortal Kombat

**Hello! **

**Questions for my story readers: **

**1) was any one reading my Titanic story and got pissed at me cause I deleted it? Be cause I have all the chapters still on my computer and I can repost it and continue it till the end if u want**

**2) my FullMetal q & a 07! readers…..i will make a new one if u guys want**

**3) new I deas for a story!!! Do u think I should right a FMAxHP story?!?!? I was thinking of having a EdxDraco parring w/ an EdxRoy abusive parring on the side…..How a bout it? **

**4) if u have any thing to say about these questions review me or PM me…**

**any way,**

**Roses are red,**

**Voilets are blue,**

**Me no own,**

**So u no sue!**

**ON TO THE STORY!!!**

XaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaX

**Mortal Kombat: Deception**

"Bingo!" Alphonse yelled from a distance

"-sigh- Al! were playing mortal Kombat! Not bingo…." Edward said from his spot on the couch

"oh….so that's why I keep dying…" Alphonse said

"FINISH HIM!!!" said the announcer from the game

Mileena (Eds player (and my favorite (( I am the best with her)) stepped away from Scorpion (Als player) and ripped of her veil thingy and showed her vicious teeth. She started to naw of scorpions head, ripped it off and spit it across the room. She the grinned and stood completely still for the announcer to say "Mileena wins. HARA-KIRI"

"oh hellz yeah!" –insert happy dance- Edward said.

"So…you think your all that Edward?" said a mysterious voice said from the darkness

"well….duh." Edward said

"well than, you wouldn't mind me trying to beat u?" the person came out from the darkness and it was…….Michael Jackson…………..not really it was ……….. Barney….omg no………for realz this time it was ………..Jean Havoc

"oh Havoc, whats up?" Al said

"Al!!! SHUT UP!!! That's the almighty Mortal Kombat Champ! No body has beaten him….un till NOW!" and out of a spinny screen flip the room was now the altamit gamers place. Complete with two massage seats of the comfy-ist ….niss. a mini fridge with mountain dew game fuel and kfc. And …. A flat screen and a brand new X-box (my system) and new controllers.

"fuckin awesome!!!" Edward said as he sat in his seat.

"well then shall we begin?" said Jean

"YES WE SHALL!!!!" said Ed

"Chose Your Player!" said a thingy on the screen with every player in the boxes.

(cause I beet my game like for ever ago)

"Mileena" said the announcer as Edward chose his player

"Havik" the announcer said as Jean picked his player (…? Havik and Havoc? ….akward)

"well we will see who wins…in lyke 3.5 seconds!" said alphonse from the couch

"why?" asked Jean

"because Ed can beat me in that time" Al said

"that's because u suck on ice" Roy said as he came in the room with a thingy of pop corn.

"ice? were?" al said franticly looking around

" can we play already or what?!?!?!?!" Edward yelled.

"Round 1……FIGHT!"

"the match has started and it looks good!" Al said as he looked like a …news reported person …person…

"ya I don't know how being beat can look good Al…" said roy as he was the….other reporter person

"….um any way, Ow! That has got to hurt!" Al said as he cringed

"I didn't now that some ones player could bend like that! His spine went all….woosh!" Roy said as he made his hands go places

"Mileena wins"

"YES!!!!! BEAT THAT ALMIGHTY ONE!!!!" Edward said

"you still have to win 2 more times to beat me!" Jean said

"well it looks like this match isn't over yet Roy!" said Al

"I geuss not Al…" Said Roy

"Round Two….FIGHT!!!!"

"take that havoc!" Edward said as he did the kick from above move ( right , right , B)

"Arg! Welll look at this!!!" said Jean as he…maid his player twist its on head back and forth…..-shudder-

"Look away kittys" said Al as he coverd there cute little eyes

-time skip-

"well after that…weird time skip Edward won 2 and Jean won 2….this is the TIE BREAKER YAL!!!!" Roy cried out

"Round 5…….FIGHT!!!!!!"

Edward was tapping franticly at buttons and Jean was just tapping a few at a time….JEZZ SHOW OFF!

"YAHH!!!!" Edward yelled in victory as he made Mileena kick havik in to the lower level of 'Hells Foundry'

"ha ha ha…..u fell in to my trap!" Jean said

"omg….EDWARD LOOK OUT IT'S A TRAP!!!" Al said

"I know that Al…." Edward said…

-kick- "YES!!!!" Edward yelled

Mileena kicked havik in to a dizzy stage

"FINISH HIM!!!!!!" yelled the announcer

In a flash of lightning Havik burst in to flames and he screamed as he died (like tha dragon king onaga after arcade mode.)

"Mileena Wins….Fatality"

" –gasp-…..omg….I WON!!!!! YES!!!!!-insert supa happy dance here- dun nu nu nu!!! No eating here to night woah! No eating here to night No no no! eating here to nigh you on a diet!!" Edward said

"its all over folks... the hole enchalata…" Roy said as he got up and….tackled ed for….VICTORY SEX!!!!!!!!!!! (XD)

"NOOO!!!! We WILL meet again Edward…SOMEDAY!!!!" and flash Havoc was GONE!!!

"akward" Al said as he went up to the X-box and put in Kittens for X-box in the system.

"Aww! So cute little cyber kittys!" Al said

Fin….

OR IS IT?!?!

-sigh-

HELLO?!?!?!

…-leaves-

MEOW?!?!?!?!!!!!


	14. happy birthday mom

**Happy b-day mom!!! **

**Oct 3 **

XAXAXAXAXAAAXXX

"EDWARD!!" lewis (me) said as she ran in to Roys office

"WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?!!!" Edward yelled. He was in the middle of doing –cough- something –cough- with Roy when I came in….

it was the evil game of…..

MONOPOLY!!!!

Any way, "Edward! A couple of days ago it was my moms b-day and she was turning a REALLY old age for a mom ….its weird im like what 13? Yeah and I have a sis whos 18 and one whos 23 and a brother whos 32 so that makes my mom…..53 years old…yep any way….i thought it would be funny to make funn of her old age (like I always do) so I got her a b-day card that said "YIKES" on the cover with a puppy with his ears up ….like he just saw President Bush singing the gay barbie song with Michael Jackson….u know the hole 'hi garrot! Hi ra'ule! U wanna go for a ride? On what? On THIS! –insert boink sound- Barbie is a bitch she is just a witch! I really hate her why dose ken date her?! Ken is such a man! I do all I can! Just to do him! We wanna screw him!...well any way…in side the card it said 'your finally getting I to the years of were letting the dog see you naked counts as animal cruelty'…..she laught so hard …ok im done!"

Edward just blinked… "Ok…back to monopoly!!"


	15. Obsession

O M G

100 reviews and counting?!?!?!?!! YAY!!! I LOVE U GUYS!!!

Any way…

TO THE STORY!!!

XaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaX

Obsession

Pride and Envy were bored to hell and back when……..MICHAEL JACKSON came in the room….what? hes the new dante...

"Hello kiddies! You've got a new friend to play with , Hee, Hee"

Ands in came a NEW homunculus…

Obsession!! (Chibi-Elric-Chan)

"OMG!! ITS PRIDE AND ENVY!!!!!! –tackles- RAWR!!!!! THIS IS SO AWSUME!!!!IM A HOMUNCULUS TOO!!!!" obsession screamed and she tackled Pride and Envy

"jeasus fucking Christ….."Envy said

"Jeasus did what to christ?" Pride and Obsession said AT THE SAME TIME!!! –creepy-

Pride looked at Obsession with those cute big chibi eyes and cute head tilt.

"AWWWW!!!!" Obsession and Envy said at the same time…. WHATS WITH THE SAME TIME CRAP?!?!?!!!

"ooh! I have an I dea!!" Pride said jumping up and down like he was on crack….or like wrath is on a daily basis!

"o my flippin squeek Edo has an idea!" I yelled from the computer not but 2 seconds after I wrote his sentence.

All the homunculus-is in the room looked at the celling akward-ly WHAT?! STOP STARING AT ME!!!!

"well….any way, I think we should make a movie!!" Pride said

"YAY!! A MOVIE!!!!" Wrath said as he magically appeared on Charlie the Unicorn!! "just go back to candy mountain Charlie ok?"

"ok ok just take these Unicorn pamphlets" Charlie said and he left! To the world unknown!!!

"…wtf?" Envy said. on the pamphlets the was a unicorn eating grass…but had another unicorn on top of it…..the top unicorn was doing the other?!?!?!!! And the pamphlet said 'The World Needs More Unicorns!!'

"okkkaaaayyyy thhhheennn……any way about the movie…..we should call it Life; The Drama! And have tat game life with the tiny blue and pink people and SUV cars and the hole thing should be a Famliy of 6 all guys except one…all the guys are gay and gay with each other…but the girl wasn't…she was a LESBIAN!!! That made the 3 dads angry so they kicked her out of the family…great isn't it??" Pride said

the screen turned to Envy Wrath and Obsession they all had huge sweat drops on the sides of there heads….

"Edo? Pride? What ever the fudge ur name is u are messed up in the head…" Said Wrath

"I forgot to take my pills to day" Pride said with a pleased look in his eye

"ok then….um why don't we- OMG IS THAT AN ICE CREAM TRUCK I HEAR?!?!?!?!" and out the door went Obsession…."WAIT FOR US!!!" then Michael Jackson and his 'friends' –cough—under age boys—cough- went to get ice cream…and they lived happily ever after! The end!

Ed: that's it?

Me: of this chapter any way…

Roy: I wasn't metioned once!!

Ed: aww babi don't worry you'll be in the next chapter!

Roy: Really?

Ed: Yep -looks back and forth-….TACKLE!!!!!! –tackles roy-

Roy: ARGH!!!! -gets tackled-

Me:…… -.- ……what ever…just Read and Review!! oh and did any one notice in the movie explantaion i sai '3 dads'??? tee hee heee


	16. Cell phones

Ello mates!

A frequently asked question: who do u like better Ed or Roy?

Well…I think a bout it like this: WHO WOULD U WRATHER KILL OFF?!?!? EDO-KUN OR ROY-SAN?!

So I say Roy…he can go jump off a cliff…

-tackles Edo- Edo forevah!!!

-ehem-… I still love u roy-san but Edo is well….Edo

Roy-San: its okay I understand perfectly….i mean its Edo!!!!!!! -tackles Edo-

Edo-Kun: I feel so loved……-smiles-

Me: aww Edo you r loved!...and Chibi-Elric-Chan -nodds- awesome isn't it? you can tackle Edo too!

Chib's: YES!!!!!!!11 -tackles-

Any way…TO THE STORY!!!!!

XaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaX

Roy was sitting at his desk …..cause that's the usual setting for this story….

Any way, Edward brursted through the door jumping up and down like crazy.

"Roy-San!!! LOOK!! I got a new cell phone! A Razor!!! Anit it cool?!?!?!?!!!11 and I have PETE WENTZ as my back round and it says 'Oh shit! What now?' its flippen AWESOME!!!" Edward said showing it off

"uhhh…yes Edo its awesome to the extreme….now go away." Roy said

"WHAT?!?! I didn't even show you the bestest part!!" And Ed lifted the razor cell phone , flipped it open, and said " ok just hold it and pretend its YOUR new cell phone, and u don't wanna give it to me…but then u do OK?"

"ok, gezz" and roy picked up the cell phone and started looking threw it and junk like that

"Hey! Is that a Razor?!?!!!1" Edward said tring to be more….prepy? yeah lets go with that….

"…..yes" Roy said

"CAN I SEE?!?!?!!!!" Edward asked

"……..ok" Roy said and handed it to Edward

"SCORE!" and Edward flipped it open and rooled up his sleeve and said "GOOD BY CRULE WORLD!!" and started to slide the side of the razor (phone) across his wrists.

"God dang it! Its not working!!!" and Edward cryed mini tears and sat in the corner for the rest of the day…..

"akward." roy said


	17. omfg thats kewl

Whats up peeps????

Hey guess what?? Chibi-Elric-Chan knows all 26 major bones in the human body!!!

Akward…..but still!!!

….and AWAY! TO THE PIMP MOBILE!!!!!...not really

**XAXAXAXXAXAXAXAXAX**

Edward came in to roys office with an awesome thought in his head

BAM!

And then it was gone….

"NUUUUUU!!!!!! I NEED IT!!!!!" Edo cried on the office floor.

The author was nice enough to give Ed an even BETTER idea.

"….this…is…AWESOME!!!" Ed cried

"whats awesome?" roy asked

"well….i had this idea but know I have a better one!!" Edward said and he did the supa-happy-dance

"well? What is it?" Roy asked eagerliy

"we……….should make a band! called My Alchemical Romance!!!!!" Ed said and did the Supa-Dupa-Happy-Dance

Me: -rolls eyes-

"isnt that really close to the band My _Chemical _Romance? And let me geuss, one of your CD albums will be …..The Black Parade? Or something close to it?" Roy said smirking

"nope! ………wait…….-ponders-……errrrrrr... –ponders more-…. O.O oh….OOHHHH!!!!" Ed said

"OOOHH?!?!!!" Roy said

"……nope!" Edward said

Roy: -head/Desk-

**XAXAXAXAXXXAXXAXAXAXAX  
**

"Hey!!!!!" said the toast

"What?" said the jam

"ummmm…….BREAKFAST!!!!" said me with a poket full a Pam! Cooking spray that is….

**XAXAXXAXXAXAXAXAAAAXXA**

Roy steped out of the shower dripping wet and serching for a towl…..but

insted he found Edo!

"Ed, what are you doing in my house...naked?" Roy asked

Ed tilted his head cutely " I didn't wanna be left out on the fun…"

……3…..2……1….

"AWWWW!!!! -tackle-" said Roy

at least from that point on Edo will most sertainly NOT be left out on the fun…XD


	18. rawr?

Marshmellow: RRRAAAAAWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:...rawr?

**VAVAVAVSFSGSGAJFS AGSTW**

Well, It was that time of the month…no! Not that! It was my birthday!

Yep! Im now 13 years of age!

And then i thought…hmm…… kinky in a can…..

Ed: Al did what?

Al:……

Ed: Al??

Al:……………

Ed: AL?!?!?!?!?!!!!

Al…………………………………………-runs-

Roy:….can Ed be kinky in a can?

Ed/Me: Hellz yeah!

Al:…………………-trips- WHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Al…..you only fell 2 feet

Al:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -looks-…….(O.o)….oh kay then……..WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: (-.-)

Roy: He fell the height of Ed!

Ed: DAMN U BASTARD!!!! I know Im so small you could fit me into your pants!!!!!! GGRRRRRR!!!!!!

Roy:…-raises eye brows- ???

Ed:……What? (obviously no clue)

Roy: …-rolls eyes-…nothin

Ed:…………-walks off- ……WAIT…-walks back in- WHEEE!!!!! -jumps around-

Roy: OMG Ed!! You look like…like…sex on legs!

Ed:...? really? -supa-happy-dance-

Roy:…..no not really……XD Kidding!!!!!

Ed:...O.o…….kay…then……

Roy: well……………AWAY!!!! TO THE WORLD UNKNOWN!!!!!!!!!! –drags Ed away-

Me: I hope they rape someone along the way

Al: yep…

Me: just not winry…they could DIE of the horrible dizzies called AIDs.

Al….-shudders-

Winry: -burst threw the wall- Hey yall! Smile or DIE BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!! -aims wrench-

Me/Al: HOLY KITTEN-MELLOWS!!! -runs away-

**VQIWHDHDFAWKJFWQQQqueVKUFKJD**

Envy:…Barney … …its Twins….

Barney: WHAT?!?!?!!!!!

**MEOWmMIXmMEOWmMIXmNUMAmNUMAmDUMBmASS!!!!**

"ED!!!!!!!!!" Roy asked running in to the room in a pink frilly apron "Ed!! Did u eat mollys birthday cookies?"

"WHAMPHT?" Edward said with a mouth full of cookies.

Al: I guess that answers that.

Me: -cries- whaaaa!!!! No birthday cookies 4 me!!!!!! -cries in corner-

Ed:….-takes wadd of cookie out of mouth- …here …-hands to molly-

Me: -dries tears-….4 me?

Ed:-smiles- yep!

Me: YAY!!! EDO SLOBBER!!!!!

…………it's the pixie sticks people….i swear…


	19. XD

mountain dew and pixie sticks...WHEEEEE!!!!!

**DAYTSJDDFKLWDLIWWJWW**

"Ed? ...ok...i know im awesomly hott but gawd Ed..." Roy said as he staired at...Eds crotch...

XD

anyway...

"Huh?" Ed looked down "Oh! thats were i put it!" and Ed unzipped his fly and pulled out...a cupcake?

"i needed to make room for the cupcake so no morrning wood to day Roy-San!!" And the dumb 'Morrning wood' song annoying ly happend to be playing in the back of Eds mind...

"awww damn" Roy said and hanged his head in sad niss...poor Roy san

"dont be sad Roy-san!! i needed the space 4 this cupcake...4 all the reviewers who said happy birthday to molly! cause i felt bad about the cookies..." Edo said and he handed his cupcake to the reviewers...hee hee...crotch cupcake...

"ohhh...so how about 'afternoon wood' insted???" Roy asked

"...OK!"

...lol crotch cupcake...XD

**ADADADADADADASTAYDSJAUH**

"Barney,...my water broke!" Envy said wide eyed

Barney: ...Omfg...-faints-

**JFKSAJKSJDKJWDD**

"...-sniffle-.." Edo said

"Ed whats wrong??" Roy asked

"...i miss my cupcake...i even named it steve!!!!..." Ed said and cried some more

"steve the crotch cupcake?!?!!!" i said from the computer...its just sooo funny to say AND type...XD

"...How a bout ...Phil... the crotch ...TACO!!!" Roy said and BAM! a taco was in Eds pants! (gawd this is soooo wrong on soooo many levels...XD)

"...O.O...o...my gawd...PHIL!!!!!!" and Ed tackled Phil how was stil in Eds pants... gawd wat a werid metal image...XDD

"...akward..." Roy me and any left over Readers said aws we left the room to play with steve the crotch cupcake and Gir...the happy green disco puppy ...thing...

**sjgdqwielfieiehhddhdhdhdhhdiskss**

Envy: ...

Barney:...

Envy:...ummm i can explain?

there in the bed...thingy were too babys...that looked just like... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ...SpongeBob...

Barney:...-sigh- ...-grabs gun-...GOOD BY CRULE WORLD!!!!...-aims at head-

-ploink-

Envy: well that was weird

Kids: yep! ahhaaaahhhhaaahahahahaaa!!!!

Me:...-shudders-


	20. Direct TV

Edward came to roy with a weird statement

"Roy have u ever noticed that in gay porn, the setting is at like a gayer guys house and a repair man or cable guy comes over and they instantly have hott man smex?? if it was me i would be like 'Fuck that, u put in my direct TV line right now and THEN will have hott man smex..." Edward said

"...I NEED A DIRECT TV LINE!!!!! NOW!!!!" roy called out to no one in paticluar

that day Edo did get his direct tv and ...other things as well...XD


	21. Fort bordum

WHEE-SNAW!!!!

**XaaaaaaaX**

Roy was sittin at his desk ….cause that is like the usual setting for CatNip

When…."well….ur mom…..OHHHH!!!! what now?!" was heard from none other then Ed.

"Hiya Roy-San!" Edo-Chan was sooo cute when he was acting innocent.

Roy smirked kinda….well yeah if u call a lip twitch a smirk….anyway..

"Ed…did u just insult jean's mother?" Roy asked

"oh…not really…its just something u say as a come back insult thingy…like ummmm…u say something like "Ed u suck at math"…then I say 'Well…ur mom!" or "ur Face!" its just a thing…OK?" Edo said

Roy:….O.O….-head/desk-

**XAXAAAAXXX**

Riza hawkeye walked in to the office and noticed that every one was missing…

Untill…

"INCOMING!!!!!" Jean randomly shouted

"EAT SOY SAUSE PACKETS!!!" Roy said and ….insert flying soy sause packets here…

"AW HA!!! I PEGED HUGHES!!!" Al souted…..god al is so compeditive

"AHHH!!!!!!!! MIIII GGAAAWWWWDDDD!!!!!!!!" Ed shouted..

"STOP THE GAME!!" Roy yelled "Edo!...tell me what happend.."

"R-roy….i got…-sniffle-….peged in the……..forehead! –tears-" Edward said

"NUUUUU!!!!!!!DAMN U LAWS OF FISICS!!!!-shakes fists- DAAAMMMNNN UUUU!!!!!!" Roy yelled

**XDaXDaXDaXDaXDaXDaXDaXDaXDaXD**

Roy enterd his office with a can of easy chesse, a 2 letter of Mountain dew, pixie sticks, Safeway Chinese, his favorite plushie, Mr. Mic Peepster Snack Rap ( a giant pink bunny marshmallow peep), And Edo's favorite plushie, Milkshake (a pink kitty)

He looked around his office and saw…a GINORMAS fort made out of he two couches…big enough to fit like 10 people…

Right next to the door it said "No girls allowed….except milkshake"

Roy made a silent awwwwwww! And knocked on the floor next to the door..

"Password!" Was all Edward said

"Password? Whin was this established??" Roy aasked

"Password!! n.n" Ed persisted

"I don't know the flipping password!!" Roy said

"password exepted!" and he moved the flap thing

"YAY!!"

**CACAHFAJFAJAJ**

Giggles were hered from in side the fort…witch was named Fort Boredum…..i wonder why?

Any way,….

"did u get the supplies?" Ed asked

"yup!" Roy said

"sweet…." Edo said

"cornal?? Cornal mustang?" said Alphones

"sssspppttt!! Al!!!!!" Ed whispperd

"-gasp- Ed!!! Hiiiii!!!!!" Al whisperd

"al u should come in here! But only with a plushie!" Roy whisperd

"OH! But don't tell ANY one about it!!! Ok??" Ed whisperd

"Ummm….ok!" Al said and skipped of to find his plushie

**CACACCACACACHGSFKJF**

Al found his plushie Mr. K.A.T. or Mr. Kick Ass Taco….i actually have that plushie…anyway..

"soooooo…….what do we do in here??" Al asked

"-smirk-m I am soooo glad u asked….heee heee heee heee" Roy said

"Ha ha….yeah…this will be interesting MUHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Ed said

"oh shiz nit" Mr.KAT said

"…?" I looked after I re-read this…

"AHHHH!!!!" Al screamed/whisperd

**HAHHHAHHASLAHKDSTWQI**

"so how is the new naruto game?" Ed asked

"ITS AWESOME!!!!" Roy and Al both said

they were playing a Naruto game for play station 2..

"ok im bored! Lets play FMA 2 the curse of the crimson elixir!! "Al said

"but that's one player!!! Lets play make believe Death Note!" Roy said

"ok!"

**GAKUAGKAUGAAA**

after many dumb games of diferant animes…death note, sailor moon, Ranma, Inuyasha, Naruto, full metal alchemist…weird…..umm, blood plus, shaman king and others that I cant remember….they pasted out in there fort boredom….and almost died of sugar rush….WHHHEEEEEE!!!!


	22. Ed On

Ed-On…

**Kagshgshshiusazk**

Edo was just sittin there on Roys couch when all of a sudden..

BAM!

"ED!!!! LOOK IT!! ITS FILPPIN AWESWOME!!!!" Roy said with a lable maker

"O…M..GEE I LABLE MAKER?!?!! WHEEE COULD MAKE SOME MANNY LABLES !!' Ed said

"hheee…..-label label label- THERE!" Roy said with a newly made label that he stuck to Eds 4 head.

"Wha?" Ed said going cross eyed to see the label

"it says ' Ed-On! Apply Directly to Roy!' anit it awesome?" Roy said all cute ly looking

"……ok!" and Ed Applied him self directly to Roy…

XD


	23. GTA San Andreas

rawr!

**WARNING!** MAJOR Spoilers for video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas** U HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

**ABAABABBABALSHQ**

"roy! Roy! Roy!" Ed said as he ran in to their bed room.

"what is it now Ed?" Roy asked tiredly

" I just beat Grand Theft Auto; San Andreas!!!!!! Im flippin out! I cant belive all that happened!!!"

"all what happened?" Roy asked

"well u know how in the beginning u have that cop Officer Tenpenny like mug u? and then ur families Sweet, Big Smoke, and Ryder are all to gether? Well at the middle u see Ryder and Big smoke and Tenpenny making a deal wth a crack dealing car. and then Sweet gose to jail. Then u go to the second city. Then like u get raped buy this insane chick Catalina and then later later later u kill Ryder for sellin out ur families then later sweet gets out of jail from a guy Rosenberg. Then u go and take over gang territories in los santos. Then in the last mission 'end of the line' u have to go to the crack house that big smoke lives at…and kill smoke in a huge battle. Then u follow tenpenny to a fire truck and sweet grabs it and tenpenny drives off while u fallow, then sweet falls in ur truck and then u shot peple fallowing u. then tenpenny crashes and climbs out of the truck and then dies. Then a bunch of video clips lateer and u winn and the credits show. Then after that Catalina calls u on ur cell and is all moning and yelling cause she being fucked or something like that and…its just weird…well im of to play GTA; III buy now roy!" and then Ed left..TO THE WORLD UNKNOWN!!!!

"wha?" Roy asked dumb foundedly…

I rolled my eyes "I beat the game and felt the need to tell some one and used the Edo as my pawn to tell u." and I walked off the PLAY GTA;III BABIE!!!!!


	24. E and E

"Edward!!!!" roy cried as he ran in to their bed room.

"roy, my name isn't Ed any more! Its Equivalent Exchange. The initials are still the same!" Ed- errr I mean equivalent said

Roy just kinda stood there… "im not yelling 'Equivalent!!!' during sex u know."

Equivalent sweat droped. He was beating the crap out of his mind as he tried hard not to think. (that sentence just cracks me up!) "o.k. then…my names Ed again…"

And that's how they saved Christmas!


	25. Butt Capes

"Roy-Sama? Why do the people in the military wear butt capes?" Edo asked one fine morning

ove corce ed was talking about those pant flappy skirty thingys on the uniforms…

"wha-?! A butt cape Ed? " Roy asked kind of tromitized by the subject

"yeah, u wear one, and it looks like a butt cape. And since ur butt has a cape, it is now called "Super Butt!' fighting crime wear ever he is needed with his butt caping action!!!!!" Edward called out and raised his hand in to the air like Roy did in episode 13 with the minni skirts in the back round. Only it was butt capes in the back roun and Roy molesting his leg. Not havoc.

Roy just stared blankly "ooooookkkkkkk tttthhhheeennnn………Edo-Kun? Did u take ur pills to day?"

"ummmm……….Ohhhhhhhh……..urrrrrrrr……….-insert really hard thinking-" Ed uh did

"gezz! Don't hurt ur self!" Roy said

"No I did not and I might as well have!" Ed said as he cried big emo tears of blood and pain….and it was all MARSHMELLOWS FAULT!!!

"Squeak?!" marshmallow said randomly from the litter box, with his eyes cross eyed.


	26. rawr 2? since theres a rawr 4 chap 38

Welcome to another crack chap in the bestest fanfic ive ritten!

Ed: But this isn't a fanfic,

Lewy (inner hyper me): OR IS IT?!!!

Me: GOD DAMN IT!

**XXAXAXAXXX**

Roy: well that was the Shortest chap ive ever read

Ed: IM NOT SHORT IM FUN SIZED!

Roy:…-smirks evily- yes you are……

Ed: -blushes-


	27. Science class

This was actually me and Lewis (my inner imaginary Boy self…or me if I was a dude.) argueing Durring class. My Science class. And I wasn't thinking this convocation. I was talking. pretty loud. The Ed and Roy parts were me also. But thinking that Ed and Roy were actually talking.

My friend Paul thought I had problems!

Any who. ENJOY!

:3

XAXAXAXXAAXAXAZ

Roy: soo what did u get Al for X-Mas?

Ed: not telling.

Roy: Aww. Ed! I wanna know! I pinky swear I wont tell.

Ed: ok! its a- ...--looks around-...its a kitty ears hat!!! how awesome is that?  
Me: -out of no were- flippin awesome.  
Ed: i know!  
Me:...  
Ed: O.o what?  
Me:...nothing...

Lewis: Q!

Me: well...seven! o yeah! what now?!  
Lewis:...Avenged Sevenfold sucks noodles  
Me: OH YEAH! WELL...ur mom!  
Lewis:?? o.O do i even have a mom?  
Me: yeah! every one has a mom! ur mom...was a dumpster!  
Lewis: O.O Wah?! my mom was a duuuummmmppppsssstttteeerrrr! nuuuuu!!! DX  
Me:...-raises eyebrows-  
Lewis:-emo corner-

Me: I wanna come too! -runs to emo corner- no one under stands my feelers.

XAXAXAXXAXA

Me: OH CANADA!  
Lewis: were not in canada molly.  
Me: well...WERE NOT IN CANSAS EATHER LEWIS.  
Lewis: -le gasp- O.O wha? Were Not?!?!!!! Omg!!!!!! nuuu!! -Emmooooo Cooorrrnnneeerrrr-  
Me: ...ooonnnneeee is the lonlieist number that ull ever doooo...  
Lewis: Twwwoooo can be as bad as one-  
Me/Lewis: but the lonliest number is the number onnnee!  
_-in the distance- _Edo-Kun: Ah! Roy! Mmm…its so good! Please Roy, Nih! (man smex! X3)  
Me: AWW!!!!!!!! X3  
Lewis:...i need McDonnalds chicken nuggets and a mountain dew...

Me: do u need money?

Lewis: yes I need some nickels and dimes.

Roy: -naked- Nipples and dicks. :3

Me/Ed: O.O

Roy: -slapps Head- Eds Nipples and Dick! –tackles Edo-

Me/Lewis: AWW! X3

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

Reminder: I actually said ALL of this really loudly in Science. But no one ecsept Paul herd me (I think) cause the science teacher cant keephis class under control. So yea.

REVIEW!!!


	28. yellowy science note book attacks

**OMG. IMALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RAWR!!!!**

**-cough-…well I was bored one 5****th**** period class (SCIENCE) and I decided to steal pauls note book and wite a story on the cover and back pages….enjoy!**

XAXAXAXXAAXAXAXAX

Edward walked in to Roy's office one fine morning and sat in the corner with a yellow note book.

Roy pasted it off as 'being a good Edo-kun' but oh no, was he wrong.

XAXAXXAXAXAXXAXAX

"Hello Mr. Yellow science note book!" Edward said to the…note book.

"Screw you." The…Note book talked back?! What the crap?!?!?!

"did that note book just talk?!" Roy asked

"uh durr. But hes being emo right now. And hes even more emo cause he dosent have arms to cut with the new razor I got him. Sad I know…" Ed said…..( an educated sentence? NUUU!!!!!)

"Fuck off" the note book said

"Why?! –cries- Whaaaa!" awwww…..edo's crying.

Note book: Don't make me slap you!!

Edo: O.O Oh shit! Ahhh! -pretends to die-

Note Book: anyway……

Roy: ………no more late nights of paper work…….-walks away-

Notebook: ok…NAME, Paul NoLastName.

Edo: Haha!

NB: WHAT?!

Edo: I stole you from a dude named paul.-Pokes-

NB: DON'T POKE ME.

Edo:… A-alright…. –sniff-

NB:…..

Edo: YOUR MOM.

NB: -Le Gasp!- MY MOMMY WAS A PINE TREEEEE!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAA!!!!!! –emos-

Edo:….umm…its alright yellow-y science note book…

NB: -sniff-….R-really?!

Edo: Yeah! –claps-

NB: yaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!! Lets go play DDR!

Edo: OK!

Roy: O.o…..a note book playing DDR. Wow. Double-u oh double-u!! World of Warcraft!!

XAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Edo: IM BORED.

NB: me too.

Alphones: -out of no were- Me Three!

Edo/NB:…….?

Al:…..FINE! –walks away-

Edo:….-pokes NB's tummy- (WTF?)

NB: Whoohoo!

Edo: What the crap?

NB:……NINJAAAAA!!!!! –points in air- AWAYYYYYYYY!!!! –runs-

Edo: ….akward

XZXZXZXZXZXZXZXXZXZXZ

Edo: Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!

NB: Shut up Dingus!

Edo: Im Ed!

NB:…..?

Edo:…..EHOH TELITUBBIES!!!

Roy: Edooo!!! Were having spaghetti-o's and grilled cheese for dinner!!

Edo: Sweet.

NB:…..-sits there-

Edo: HA! Your mother was a hamster and your dad was no better!

NB: I thought my mom was a pine tree?

Edo:….you have five mothers.

NB: FIVE?!?!

Edo: Yep. –nods-

NB: WHO's YOUR DEALER?!

Edo:…its not barney!!

NB: O.o….the dinosaur?

Edo:…..No! (Denial)

AXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Edo: IMAGINATION!!! –claps-

NB: I SHALL STAB U WITH MY POINTY SPORK OF DEWM!!!!

Edo: Oh snap!

NB: rawr.

Edo: Oh yeah?! Well……..MANBAG!

NB: awww! –rolls on the floor-

Edo: Queak?

NB:…..no comment.

Edo: PORNO MAG. Noodle bowl. Kitty. PAW. Elephant. Towel. Evil Laughter.WHAAA!! OMG PAIN!!!

NB: I didn't touch you!

Edo: MORE Pain!!!...Dangerous weapon. THE HAND. PW-N-ED! Beep. GOIN DOWN.

RAWR!

NB:…..

XAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Edo: Hayyy Roooyyy! Is that an ipod in your poket or are you just happy to see me?!

Roy: -looks down-….both.

Edo: O.O…woah.

NB: RAPE!!!!! RAWR!

Edo: OMG!!! Rabies! RABIES!!! –gargle, choak pretents to die-

Roy/NB:……akward.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hope u liked it.


	29. Molly's Sexuallity?

Muhahahaha…… :3

REMEMBER THIS QUOTE: if there's a hole there's a way!!

RAWR!

XAXAXAXAXAXAXXAXX...Q

…?

…what?

A que?

Yes…

That isn't an x or an a!!!!

oh well!

….

-sigh- what now?

Not much…

-rolls eys-

JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY!!!

…Mm'Kay!

XAXAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXAXA

"Roy!!" Edward called as he ran in to Roy's office.

"what's up Ed?" He asked

" uh, Gee I don't know Roy maybe its the Ceiling!? Jezz….any hoo, today I asked molly-chan if she like did it with dudes or chicks and she said ' Well, its very simple Edo. Im as straight as a half circle is a circle.' And I was like O.o and then stuff happened and I took a shower, ate a cupcake…wait a second…"

Roy looked at him questioningly. ( LYKE ZOMGWTFROFLMAO!!! A BIG WORD!!!)

" Straight as a half circle is a circle? Well….if you draw a circle the erase half, its only half a circle, or ½ circle, so is the other half creates one hole, what's the hole labled as?"

"……….a way?" ( HAHA :. )

"No, its called Homosexuallity. Durr. That's u Ed-"

"IM A HOBO?!?" Ed cried

"no, a Hoe-Moe. Not hoe-boe. Any way…. If u take a homo and take away the fact that he dosnt like girls what is he now?" Roy asked

" uh….. a unicorn?"

"No! ugh….ok a half circle is 1 of 2 right so what is 2 in mathematical slang?"

" -blinks rapidly- The Air Force!" Ed squealed

"…..2 is Bi, like bio spear! I don't even know what that is but any way! And 3 is tri like a triangle…ok? So, molly is 2 or Bi….what?" Roy asked hoping for the RIGHT awesner.

" Philippines?"

Roy: -head/desk-

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

"Molly-Chan! Molly-Chan! Molly—oh hey! Muffins!!...wait…MOLLY-CHAN!!" Edo cried as he ran to Me.

"WTF is it Edo-Kun?!" I asked angrily be cause I was interrupted in an episode of Death Note. Yes it was a Saturday on adult swim. Hee hee….

"Roy-San called u a Bi-Philippines!!!2" Ed said

I sat there, and sat there and blinked for a few….oh yea the story….

"well Roy is a Gay school district!!"

"O.O what?!"

I looked at Ed with my pissy cheerfull niss-isity. I mean COME ON!! Its flippin DEATH NOTE!! And there could only be 4 episodes were L and Ratio kiss! UN LESS TEY PHOTO SHOPED IT!!! That will make me sad….. :[ . –emos- Whaaa!!!! No L/Ratio yaoi for meh….

Any way….

"…I Don't know!!!!! Uh…..a sexy lamp? Or a flaming Alaska? " i said quickly.

Ed looked at me funny. "HAHA!!! Alaska isn't on fire! Its ICE! For my kool aid!. Durr…"

" . FINE! A uh… -looks around- Ah HA!!!! He, Roy Mustang, is to be an awesome cool pair of RAINBOW SUSPENDERS!!!! That I seriously want. Bad. I luv themmm!!!!" I said a s I rolled on the floor saying something about red…pants…

And Ed just stared.

Cause he wanted to.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Ed jumped threw the effin window In roys office.

What? Im tired of him running in threw the door all the time…..

"ROY! LYKE, ZOMG ROFLMAO WTF TMI…? Never mind, but Roy! Molly said if she's a bi- Philippines the u are the fuckin cool rainbow suspenders she wants to get from Spencers Gifts!" (Muhahahahahah…)

Roy looked upo from his paper work and the screen got all sorts of close to his face, which was calm and serious…then he moved his head in a surprised fashion and said it.

"Okay!!"

XAXAXAXAXA

That day, molly got an awesome pair of rainbow suspenders with Roy's smirk on the left rope-y-thing…IT WAS AWESOME!

:3


	30. Yami's Birthday!

NO PIXIE STICXKS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS CHAPTER!!

Just my sanity…

XD

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Edward was bored…..untill he found a dust bunny to play with and the he wasn't bored any more! Wow!

……um k.

"HEY! U! at the…U! with the face! Yes YOU! At the computer screen reading this chapter of catnip! Guess what! In January it was my good ol' friend Yami's birthday!!" I said to any one who actually dose read this story.

Edo looked away from the dust bunny. "He's like what….37?"

"No Ed! he's 18!"

Ed just blinked the giggled "18? That's almost 7!"

Now I blinked… " uh..sure….any hoo….I-"

"Molly!!!!"

"WHAT ED?!"

"….what dose TMI mean?" Edo asked all cute and innocent like…

"it means To Much Info…..why?"

"cause yami's a dork and dosent know…"

"U didn't know eather!! And u said it in the last chapter!!"

Edward just staired at me.

"STOP STAIRING AT ME!!! Rawr!!"

"molly you have problems."

"I hate chairs. Their so…chairy."

…?

I don't even know….

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

Barney was sitting in the living room watching 'Viva La Bam' with his little mutant sponge children when Envy walked in the door.

"Barney, I want a divorce."

Barney just looked at his children, then to Envy, and walked out the door sing a sad tune as he left. "….Blood, blood, gallons of the stuff…..give them all that you can drink and it will never be enough, so give them blood, blood, blooooddd. Grab a glass be cause there going to be some blood.….da da."

I love that song….

XD

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

SOME WERE……

"It smells like fresh vagina in here!" Winry said to now one in particular.

Den looked at her like she just said 'it smells like fresh vagina in here.'

Armstrong suddenly burst threw the door with the DEMON SPARKLES!!! Oh nose! the sparkles! Of DEMW!!!!! RAWR!!!!

"Are u! Winry Rockbell, talking about MY vagina that has been past down the Armstrong line for generations?!?!? Cause it has been past down the Armstrong line for generations you know!" Armstrong said as he flexed! NO!!!! THE SPARKLES! WHAAAA!!!! 

"….Maybe….." Winry said.

THEN, out of no were!! Actually it was the window but, out of no were, Ed ran in and kicked winry in the spot that there would have been nuts if she was a dude, but she wasn't so she blew up. EXPLODIE! And it was so cool that she died I made march uh…11 national kill winry day. Which for me theres only one more hour of so yeah!

WHEEE!!!!!!!!!!


	31. Male Enhancement

_**Male Enhancement **_

Made u think, didn't I?

MUHAHA!

XDXAAXAXAXAXAXAXAAXAXAX

Ed walked in the blank white room and stared at the screen. He looked confused and touched the screen all cute and curious like then flinched/ eyes widen/ held his hand to him self/freak attack thing and yeah. Then he kept trying to figure out what the hell the screen was when Roy walked in.

"Edo-Kun, it's a computer screen. Not a mistic portal that can let look in the future…even though that would be kewl……but no."

"Roy-San!! Thank god you're here! I thought I was going to DIE!! –waving of the arms- arrrrraahhhmmooooo! Don't ask what animal I'm impersonating cause I don't even know." Edward cried and glomped Roy.

You know…I don't even know why I put them in a white room…..uhhhmmmmuyahhkkkka um. Hi?

"ATTACK!" and Ed just face planted the screen. Aww! So cute! KAWAII!

Kitty ears. AHHHH!! The word of the day bitches!

Moo……..

XAXAXAXAXAXXAXA

Hey…some one go read my profile. Then message me with a sentence of my profile then …I will do something awsome. A surpries I know ull love. So do this. Do this now.pwease? RAWR.

XAXAXXAXAXA

"Ed, what are u doing?" Roy asked

"Dane Cook said not to put a windex bottle on the middle of two settings and im doing it. Oh yeah…" Edward said. The windex bottle in potion.

"oh noes.." Roy said.

As Edward sprayed the bottle WINDEXTOR POPED OUT OF THE BOTTLE!!

"I AM WINDEXTOR!! HE TOLD U NOT TO BUT BOO HOO!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

O.o oh gawd…..

XAXAXAXAXAXAXA

Oink……im not that hyper to day…..suckie…but! if u do the SPECTIAL TASK I'll be happy., GO DO IT NOW MINNOUN!! RAWR!! Muhahahaha…..


	32. She will make a comeback!

**She will make a comback, She will!**

Roy was bored. He didn't, Did Not, and wasn't going to finish his paper work.

So, he sat there.

'_Sooner or later Ed will burst through the door and I wont be bored anymore!!'_ He thought with a smile on his face.

So he waited.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ed was currently sitting in the break room with Havoc, who was bleeding from the ears. Why you may ask? Well…

Ed was listening to Britney Spears.

_"I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous (You want a piece of me) I'm Mrs. Oh my God that Britney's Shameless (You want a piece of me) I'm Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in (You want a piece of me) I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin (You want a piece of me)"_

"Havoc, Britney is my idol." Ed started, " Don't be dissin Britney. okay sure, she's had he bad moments, but SHE WILL MAKE A COMBACK! I mean, she is over do for one. Have you seen those 'Teen Choice Awards' commercials? She's in them and looking Fabulous! Once they chisel the _Rushmore _of music, she'll be right up there with Elvis, Michael, and Madonna. So don't be afraid of those stupid dumb people who don't know good music, Turn it up! Way up." **(1)**

"…." Havoc said nothing. I don't even think he's breathing anymore…should we worry?

"HMM……" Edward hmmed. "I think I should go see my Roy-San. Maybe he appreciates good music!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And Roy still sat there.

BAM! "Oh Roy-San!"

'YES!' Roy thought

Edward ran up to Roy's desk and jumped on it. " I Just got the new Britney Spears CD, Wanna listen?"

'Nooo!' Roy thought

"Uhh…." Roy stammered. "Don't you remember chapter 22? I ran away from Armstrong singing _Oops!…I did it again_. So why do you think I'll listen to Britney Spears's new cd _Blackout_?"

Edward frowned. Then he started to sniffle and put his hands to his face. "I thought, I thought you would have….G-good taste in ..Music!" then he started to cry.

"Oh Edo-Chan. I do, I just don't really…um like her that much." Roy explained.

"It doesn't matter! I hate Ashlee Simpson…more like Trashley Skanson, but I love some of her songs! Like the song _Otta My Head._**(2) **Your despicable Roy-San!" Ed cryed.

"Okay! Wait, I do like Rihanna's music. I don't like her, but her songs are flippen great." Roy said. " I like Shut Up And Drive, and Please Don't Stop The Music, and Disturbia, and-"**(3)**

"Wait wait WAIT." Ed was dumbstruck. "Rihanna? You don't like RIHANNA?! WHO ARE YOU?!"

"I'm Roy-San" Roy said.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MENT!"

"Its who I am."

"Well…! No sex for a week!"

And that's how Roy-san got no sex for a week.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**I LOVE Britney Spears. So in the words of Ed "Don't be dissin Britney!"**

**I don't like Ashlee Simpson, but the Otta My Head song is one of hers I like.**

**I LOVE Rihanna! I don't hate her! I love her love her LOVE HER!! And my favorite song done by her is Disturbia. **


	33. MollyChan is smart so get her to help!

**Molly-Chan is smart. Get her to help!**

It was about noon on the fourteenth day of august, and there was a song that had been going non-stop in the office breakroom that day.

_"Heart of gold but it lost its pride Beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes I've seen your face in another light Why'd you have to go and let it die? Why'd you have to go and let it die? Why'd you have to go and let it die? In too deep and out of time. Why'd you have to go and let it die? A simple man and his blushing bride Intravenous, intertwined Hearts gone cold your hands were tied Why'd you have to go and let it die? Why'd you have to go and let it die? Why'd you have to go and let it die? In too deep and out of time. Why'd you have to go and let it die?"_

"LET WHAT DIE?!" Edward cried. He had listened to this song for an hour trying to figure out WHAT THE FUCK DIED!

_"Hearts gone cold and hands were tied. Why'd you have to go and let it die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let it die?"_

"Let what die? Someone tell meee! LET WHAT DIE? UGH!!"

That's how Molly found him. " Ed-Chan! What's troubling you?"

Ed beamed. "Molly-Chan! Thank sweet Jesus you're here!"

Molly smiled. "Well, I know I'm great and all…"

Ed smiled to, obviously not understanding that Molly-Chan was just full of her self at the moment, But Ed agreed, Molly-Chan _is_ awesome! "Okay, Molly-Chan I need you brain to help me figure out WHAT DIED!"

Molly blinked. "…what? Something died?"

Ed nodded. "Apparently. This song goes 2 to 3 minutes talking about something dying but I DON'T KNOW WHAT!!"

"hmm, that is a problem." Molly said, " Play the song for me."

XAXAXAXXAXAX

It was about noon on the fifteenth day of august, and the song was _still_ being played.

_"Why'd you have to go and let it die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let this die? Why'd you have to go and let it die?"_

"LET WHAT DIE!!" Molly-chan and Edo-kun cried.

So, Ha HA! Molly-chan wasn't so smart!

"I just don't understand! I am the author of this crack fiction damnitt! I should know ALL about EVERYTHING that happens in it! What the fuck is wrong with me?!" Molly cried.

Ed reached over and patted Molly-Chan's back, "I don't know Milk-Chan. I just don't know."

"Did you just call me Milk-Chan?"

"….Maybe."

"Don't you hate milk? Its demon spawn. Huh?"

"…..maybe."

"So are you implying that you hate me?"

"……maybe."

And that's how Ed didn't get sex with Roy-San for a really long time.

**Somewhere at the exact same time….**

Roy-San looked up from his pile of paper work. "WHAT?!"

XAXXAXAXAXAXAX

The song is 'Let It Die' by Foo Fighters


	34. Team ?

**TEAM…?**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS SPOILERS FOR THE LAST TWILIGHT BOOK 'BREAKING DAWN' DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED OR EVEN READ BREAKIND DAWN!! REMEMBER, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

It was another normal day at the office.

"TEAM JACOB!"

"NO, TEAM EDWARD!"

Or so we thought…

At the moment, Molly-Chan was in a fight with her friend Summer-Sama about what team they were for in …some book.

"ITS NOT JUST 'SOME BOOK!'" Molly and Summer cried at the authour…. Who just so happened to be molly….? I don't get it eather.

ANYWAY.

"Summer! Jacob Black is just way better for Bella Swan! He loved her since book one! ONE! And Edward just wanted her fuckin blood! Jacob shouldn't have imprinted on her half-vampire baby Renesmee!" Molly cried.

"Molly! Edward Cullen is WAYY better for Bella! Edward tried to protect her buy pushing her away! How sweet right? Aeven though he loved her he wanted her to well, NOT DIE! Like how he protected her from all four vampire attacks! And its better for Jacob, because Bella just doesn't love him like Edward!" Summer pointed out.

Molly snorted, "Yeah, but he was the reason they attacked her in the first place!"

Summer growled.

Molly growled.

"Um girls?" Ed-chan interrupted, "I personally think Mike Newton is better for Bel-"

"MIKE?!" Summer and Molly cried. "…EWW!!"

"…well." Ed said.

"…"

"…"

"How could Cedric Diggory from _Harry Potter_ be Edward Cullen?!" Molly cried

"Uh, DUH. Because he's hott." Summer said.

"What." Molly said in a dangerous tone.

"He is…" Ed agreed.

"I don't even know you anymore." Molly said, "And the guy playing Jacob is NOT even close to how I pictured him."

"Ehh, watch'cha gonna do?" Summer drawled.

Molly smiled. "Go to the movie the day it comes out on December 12."

Summer smiled. "Me too!"

Ed just sat there. "You guys really like this saga, don't you?"

Molly and summer sat there. "NO DUH." Then Summer spoke. "We were at Barns and Noble on august second around 11 at night. But there wasn't a REALLY big crowd like I expected but the line was long as hell."

"Yeah, only because its Bremerton. And its small." Molly agreed.

"I even had a 'Vampire's Kiss' from the starbucks!" Summer said.

"I didn't, I didn't like it. Bleh, I liked my Vanilla bean WAY better." Molly said.

"WERE GETTING OFF TOPIC!!" Ed said.

"Oh yeah…" Molly and Summer said.

"TEAM JACOB!"

"NO TEAM EDWARD!"

Edo shook his head. "..ugh."

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

What team are you on? Take my poll on my profile and find out what other people think!


	35. Cupcake and Muffin

**Cupcake and Muffin**

"Molly!" Ed yelled.

Molly looked over from her sharpie picture. "Yes..?"

"Whats this I hear about you having a girl friend?"

Molly paled. "Um…"

".."

"…"

"…Well?"

"I just decided not to wait for sondra any more, and move on…" Molly said.

"Whats her name?"

"what…?"

Ed sighed. "Don't be dumb, Whats her name?"

Molly blushed. "Kambria…..Kambria Cupcake-chan."

"You have a nickname for her too! Uh!" Ed cried.

"Im her muffin-chan and she's my cupcake."

"Why molly! You used to be the cool single one, and now your in a relationboat!" Edward said.

"Don't you mean Relationship?"

"What ever!"

Molly sighed. "I don't like being alone. I get… lonely."

"Well snuggle a lamp post! We can have you distracted!" Ed said

Molly's eyebrows scrunched together. "I wasn't even distracted by her. I haven't even met her yet! (Don't worry, she's my friend Kasandra's cousin, and I go to school with Kasandra.)

"WELL!" Edward said.

"Yeah, I just didn't really have anything to rant about for awhile, untill today and I've been popping them out like crazy!" Molly said.

"… WELL." Ed said again.

"Yep."

"… well…. You should update DeathNip more also!" Ed said.

"I was, this chap was going to be DeathNip but you somehow managed to be here instead of Light-Chan." Molly sighed.

"oh.."

"yep."

"…"

"YOUR MAKING ME RUN OUT OF THINGS TO RANT ABOUT!!" Molly cried.

"… Sorry?"

Molly just sighed. Again.


	36. Roy's Birthday!

**Roy-San's Birthday**

Today was Roy's birthday. How did I know? Ed told me.

"Molly-Chan, guess what!"

"GOD DAMMIT WHAT?!" She cried.

"I dunno, I'm bored again." Ed said sitting on the floor.

"FRICKEN A!" Molly-Chan yelled.

"Im kidding Molly-Chan!" Ed said to her. She looked like she would murder someone but she listened to him anyway. " Its just Roy-San's Birthday today!"

"Oh really?!" Molly said.

Ed smiled and nodded, "Yes!"

Molly smiled too. "So what'ja get him?"

"…oh crap."

XAXAXAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Roy was walking to work at the moment. Wait WALKING? Is he retarded or something?

"No I'm not Molly-Chan. I just let Havoc get some rest from his bleeding ear syndrome a couple chapters back."

Oh…well then.

"Yes." Roy said, "Shows how much you know Molly-Chan."

….hmm.

SUDDENLY…

"Omigawd, it's Roy!" Roy whipped his head around to see a crowd of girls charging his way, screaming and waving gifts.

"MARRY ME, ROY!"

"LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU!"

"I LOVE YOU, ROY!"

"OPEN MINE FIRST!"

"RAPE MEEEEEEE!"

Hehehe take the Roy…

XXXXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXX

"there!" Ed said with a huge grin on his face.

He had finished his birthday outfit for his Roy-San, which oddly resembled a schoolgirl's out fit. Red plaid mini skirt, white dress shirt with a red tie, hair in braided pig tails (with red bows), white knee high stockings and …black stilettos? …alright, and eyeliner to top it all off.

" Are you trying to make every man in the office bust a nut?" Molly asked.

Ed just sat there, looking at me like she was crazy. "What? This is for my Roy-San, Molly. Not for every guy in head quarters. What are you thinking?"

And Molly just sighed, cause Ed is an idiot.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

Wolf whistles and catcalls were being made In HQ as a certain hot-tempered alchemist made his way to his post.

As Ed walked Molly swore she heard Eminem's _Ass Like That_ faintly in the background of her subconscious. Until she realized Havoc was back from the hospital, and was armed with a stereo and a full MP3 player of Slimshady.

"The way you shake it, I can't believe it I ain't never seen an ass like that. The way you move it, you make my pee pee go - Doing, doing, doing. I don't believe it, it's almost too good to be true. I ain't never seen an ass like that. The way you move it, you make my pee pee go - Doing, doing, doing."

Ed didn't even notice that the music was being played, or that Molly was on the floor wheezing from laughing way to hard.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXXAXADXAXAXA

"ROY, LET ME CARRY YOUR CHILD-"

SLAM.

That was the fiftieth time that some crazied fangirl, (or boy) would call asking for his…well anything.

"-sigh- were is my Ed-Chan when I need him…" Roy said aloud.

"Im right here, Roy-San"

In slow motion, well that crappy slow motion in the movies, you know…yeah, that slow motion, Roy lifted his head up to see Ed looking innocently sexy, Havoc playing _Ass Like That_, and… molly hyperventilating on the floor….

And all Roy could do was stare.

Until Molly decided to live again. She got off the floor and pushed Ed in the room, and click! The door was locked!

"HAVE FUN!"

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Molly was sitting by the door the hole time for two hours but it was pretty silent in there.

"Did Roy bust a nut yet?" She thought aloud. "well, lets find out…"

WHAM!

Molly broke the door down just in time to see…

Roy and Ed playing Monopoly.

"….well, that was unexpected."


	37. The Not So Buckety List

**The Not So Buckety List**

It was just another normal day in the office.

"OMIGAWD!!"

Actually no, It never is.

"Molly-Chan! Molly-Chan! MOLLY!!"

"WHAT ED?" Molly cried.

Ed skidded to a stop and breathed. "Yami is leaving for collage soon!"

Molly gasped. "Oh Noes!"

"I know I didn't believe it!" Ed said.

SUDDENLY…

"Well believe it!" said Yami dressed in an … orange jumpsuit.

"…wtf?" said Molly.

"Never mind the Naruto cosplay." Yami said while stripping.

"w00t!" molly and Ed said while drooling. Some buddy get them a drool bucket or something.

Yami sighed and walked up to Molly and shook her. "Neko! Now is not the time to be getting horny! PAY ATTENTION. I need to do somethings before I leave! You know, like a Bucket List only not really cause im not dying."

"Aww damn." Molly said. " Alrighty then, whats first on this Not So Buckety List?"

XAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

WHAM!

"ahh! My …kidneys!" Winry cried.

Yep, killing Winry was the first thing.

CRASH!

"My automail!! Noooooo!!"

Her worldly possessions next.

SLAM!

"My Face! How could you wrench?"

Her best friends turning agents her.

CRACK!

"Not my crack cocaine!"

…what…?

Yami smirked. He really out done him self. Winry would suffer, and suffer some more.

"Yam-Yam, what now?" molly said from his side.

"WINRY SUFFERS!" he said with a cackle.

"….and after?"

"………..more suffering?"

"………………Okay!"

XAXXAXAX

YAMI, PLEASE UPDATE YOUR NARUTO STORY SOON! IT CRACKS ME UP. HEHEHEE. damn caps lock...


	38. that funny vibration

Roy was sitting in his office not doing his paperwork, as usual as he waited for something to happen with his Edo-kun

Roy was sitting in his office not doing his paperwork, as usual as he waited for something to happen with his Edo-kun.

Nothing yet.

"This is odd." Roy said to him self. "Usually Ed is in here by the second sentence."

It was indeed odd.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

"Hey, Havoc?" Roy asked Havoc for his attention.

"What's up Chief?" came Havoc's reply.

"Have you seen Fullmetal latley?"

Havoc sat there, thinking. "hmm…"

"…"

Thinking some more.

"…?"

More thinking.

"…..uh...Havoc?"

Still thinking.

"Oh god don't hurt your self!" Roy cautioned.

Havoc turned to Roy. "I haven't Chief."

XAXAXAXAXAXAX

"Hawkeye…?"

"I'm sorry Sir. No fullmetal today."

XAXAXAXAXAXAX

"Breda?"

"Nope. Not today Sir."

XAXAXAXA

"Fury?"

Squeek. "Uhh… N-no Sir. I haven't…seen H-him."

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

"WHERE COULD MY EDO HAVE GONE?!"

Where's Roy's Edo?!

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

"hehehe…Roy-San will never find me here!"

"ED, stfu!" Molly cried stabbing him with her elbow.

"Ouch! Molly.."

Creak.

Roy had suddenly walked in his office and sat in his chair. "Edo where areth thou?"

"Roy speaks spanish?" Ed asked.

Molly slapped her face.

"Holy crap, there you are Edward!" Roy cried looking under his office couch.

"damn, we lost." Molly said crawling out.

"What? O.o" Roy said.

Ed smiled. "We we're playing Hide and Seek Roy-San. Don't you remember?"

"…No." Roy said.

"we texted you saying we were." Molly said

"Oh… that was that funny vibration in my thigh…."

o.O


	39. Mealk

"Roy-San?" Ed asked Roy the next day.

"What is it my little cream filled Twinky?" He said.

"…..um. okay…" Ed said scratching his noggin. "Anyway, Molly says Milk funny."

Roy looked up from his paer work. "What..? how did you stumble opon this?"

Molly looked at the ground. "I was trying to get Ed to drink it."

Roy's eyes widened. "did it work?"

"HAHA! NOPE!" Ed cried.

"…okay, say milk for me Molly." Roy requested.

Molly sighed. "Mealk."

Roy blinked. "Milk."

"Mealk."

"…Milk."

"Yeah, Mealk."

"no… Milk."

"That's what I flippen said. Mealk."

Roy scowled. "What the fuck Molly-Chan. MILK. M-I-L-K."

"MEALK. MEALK, MEALK, MEEEAAAAALLLLKKKKKK!" Molly screamed.

Ed smiled. "She also says room, volume, and drawer funny."

Roy eyed her.

Molly sighed again. "Rum, Valume, and Draw-Er."

"Omigawd." Roy whispered. "What the fuck is wrong with her Edo?"

Molly slapped Roy. "STFU ROY!"


	40. OMIGAWD CHAPTER 60

MOO.

Roy sighed. "Hey Ed, do you know what time it is?"

Ed looked up from his sharpie drawing on the floor of Roy's office and blinked. "Um…" He started before lifting his sleave from his right arm and glance at his naked wrist as if he had a watch on.

The retard.

"Its half past freckle. Why?"

"……" Roy stared at him. "Ed, you don't have skin on that arm. Its your automail arm."

Ed turned and glared at him. "I HAVE DREAMS TO YOU KNOW BITCHFACE." Before he stormed out of the room.

"O.o Bitchface?" Roy said.

Yes, Bitchface. It will happen, people will use it.

SOMEDAY.

…

Use It.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXXXXXXAXAXAXAXX

"Rooooyyyyyyyyy?" Edward called to Roy as he sprawled out on his desk, messing up all of Roy's paperwork.

"What Ed. What is it." Roy said losing his patients.

"If I didn't have a face, would you still loooooooovvveee me?"

Roy sighed. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING DID YOU? "yes Ed. I would."

"What if I had a foot for a penis?" Ed asked cutely.

"Where do u come up with this stuff?" Roy asked.

"…….Fanfiction."

"Oh well, yes I would…."

"What if I was a panda and you were a cupcake?"

" Fanfiction told you that?"

"Yeah, Peterick…. Anyways, woooouuulllddd you?"

-sigh- "Yes."

"What if I had AIDS?"

"What? Uh yeah, even then. Edo."

"…..Well you should get yourself checked then."

O.O

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Edward burst randomly in to the cafeteria with a random smirk and random PURPLE SOLES on his shoes, ((((THANKS URBAN OUTFITTERS!))) and random sunglasses on and just lots of raaaaannnnnddddooom shit and screamed really loudly,

"I LOST THE GAME."

HAHA, People probably hate me now.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

If you don't get the whole 'lost game' senario, go to Ilostthegame(dot)org

DO IT NOOOOOWWWWW.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

…MICHEAL DAVIS IS SEXY.


	41. Remotes

"Roy what would you do if Dane Cook came out of no where and raped you with his remote?" Ed asked.

"….no coment." He simple said.

"YOUR SICK ROY." Ed cried before running out of the office yet again.

"What. a. freak." Molly said as she sipped on her mountain dew from in front of the computer screen.

…OH SHUT UP BITCH. DON'T LAUGH AT MEEEEEEEEEE!

No wait. Go ahead and laugh.

LAUGH HOE.

**XAXAXAXAXAX**

"Oh shit a ZEBRA!" Edward cried.

XAXAXXAXAXAX

"They just keep getting random-er each time don't they?" Roy asked the ceiling.

AS IF IM IN THE CEILING ROY. GOSH.

"IM UNDER THE RUG!" the rug cried.

XAXAXAXAXAXAX

WHAM! Edward suddenly ran into the office scaring th fuck out of Roy, and yes, you CAN scare the fuck out of some one, and he ran right up to roy and whispered. "Rooooy, I got a seeeeeccccrrreeet!"

Roy whispered back, "Oooooh! I wanna know!"

Ed smiled all adorble like and whispered back, "Don't tell ANYBODY but……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….I love you." And he giggled and ran away again.

"That was dumb. I already knew that!" Roy whined.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA

Edward was currently on the ceiling as Roy worked on paperwork.

"Dun nun nun nun." Edward , he thinks he has his own theme music.

That douche.

"Nun nun nun DUN NUN!"

"EDWARD. NO. NO THEME MUSIC FOR YOU." Roy yelled making Edward almost shit his pants.

Ew. That would have been gross. Shit on the ceiling? Ewwwww.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Sex.

XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAX 


	42. Sliced Bread

It was the best day of the week, Awesome day. And that ment Edward was going to be really really awesome. Just watch. He will.

He will.

**XAXACXAX**

Roy was sitting on the couch of his office staring at nothing when Edward came in the room dressed up as a slice of bread.

"Ed what are you doing?" Roy asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

"Roy its awesome day, and today I'm cooler then sliced bread because I AM sliced bread!" Edward said.

-HEAD/DESK-


	43. Holy Shit 5 Days Left!

"Slither slither slither."

Roy looked up from his paperwork and frowned. Had he heard something? Was he going crazy?

Thinking it was nothing he returned to his work.

"Slither slither slither."

Roy raised an eyebrow. Ok, he wasn't just hearing things. Something was going down. But not to china town.

It was right in his office.

"Slither."

Roy put his pen down silently and flicked his eyes around the room. "Ed…? Is… that you?"

"…No…………..Slither slither slither."

"Ed?"

Said person slowly got up from infront of Roy's desk trying to being all ninja and stuff.

Roy blinked. "What are you doing? And what are you wearing?"

Ed sneered. "God Roy, don't you know anything?! I'm Draco Malfoy! From Harry Potter! GOSH."

It was true. Edward was dressed in a Slytherin uniform and had his hair died platinum blond.

Roy raised his eyebrows. "…Why?"

Ed gasped. "Roy! HOW COULD YOU! Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince is coming out! In FIVE DAYS!"

"Oh."

"That's it? Oh? YOU SUCK ROY! YOUR RUINING ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS! YOUR SUCH A MEANY FACE!" and Ed then ran out of the room to play duel with Molly… who was also in a Slytherin uniform.


	44. The FoolProof Plan

"Ed, I have to piss." Roy said out of the blue.

What does that even mean anyway? O.o

"Ok, what do you want me to do about it? Grow a potato?" Ed asked

"Not now! Grow that potato farm another day!" Roy said, "But I gotta piss, go piss for me. I'm to lazy."

"Ok!" Ed said as he got up and went to the bathroom.

A few minutes later…

"Did it work?" Edo asked as he flopped on the couch.

"Nope."

"Damn, and it was a fool-proof plan too!' Ed cried.

"I know right?" Roy sighed.

God their such retards!


	45. It Was Epic

Roy sighed and with a 'plunk' his head fell on his desk.

"Omg! And then I cant believe it was sooo epic! I was like, holy shit that was epic!" Ed squeeled

"I know right! It was just so epic! And then when Harry took the felix potion, I was like, Epppiiic!" Molly cried happily.

"Omigawd I can't believe how epic it was!" Ed cried.

"EPIC!"

"Shut up already!" Roy yelled.

A thick silence hung around the office before Molly slowly turned to Roy.

"Mustang, you wanna know something?" she asked, venom in her voice.

He blinked and started to have a mini panic attack or something. That freak.

"No, not really Molly." He stuttered.

"To bad," then she got real close to him, " it was Epic!" She cried happily.

"Omigawd! I know!" Ed laughed.

"And then when Harry shot Draco with the Sectumsepera curse I was like, "NOOOOO!" and I started to cry but then when Harry was like, 'oh, I feel bad' I was like, Epppiiicc! That's DRARRY RIGHT THERE!" Molly said.

"Kill me now!" Roy moaned.

"Okay! Molly smiled and lifted her hand made wand. With a swish and a cry of Avada Kadavra and a flash of green light, Roy fell and died.

"MOLLY WIN'S."

"Haha! I win Roy! Molly cried hiting him in the shoulder.

"This game is stupid," Roy said as he tossed his controller behind him.

"Bitch! Don't throw shit!" Molly yelled.

"Yeah bitch!" Ed joined in.

Roy sighed. It just never ends.


	46. Roy Learned Somthing!

Roy learned to never leave an A.D.H.D. person alone in his house.

Bad shit happens.

"Uh yeah, Roy, you see, I didn't _mean_ to break your lamp. You see we were role-playing and it was Lord Voldemort and I kinda …tackled it…." Molly said with a shrug.

Roy groaned. That was his favorite lamp!

Ed giggled as he saw the pile of broken lamp…ness. "Wouldn't it be cool if Bob Bryer came in and broke that lamp instead Molly? You know, cause he wants to rid the world of all evil lamps and stuff…."

Molly grinned. "That would be so cool!!!!!!! Grr!"

Roy looked at the little idiots he calls friends and walked in to the kitchen.

"Omigawd Roy! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Molly dramaticly cried as she moved in slow motion to try and catch Roy.

But she was to late. Damn….

"MY KITCHEN!"

And that's why you never leave and A.D.H.D. person alone with your personal belongings.

Dumb Ass.


	47. On a Zelda Kick

"DIE GANONDORF!" I all but screamed at my T.V.

I was doing it. I was about to defeat Ganondorf for a second time. I had played The Legend of Zelda, Wind Waker first and defeated him. And now I was playing LoZ Ocarina of Time. I was gunna defeat Ganon 100 years in the past, again.

It was an epic day.

"OMG OMG!" I cried in delight. Zelda just interrupted my fight to tell me I had to take one more shot, deliver the final blow, and then it would be over.

"Epic…" I whispered as I got up and L targeted him. As my thumb ran over the B button, I paused.

I glanced around. It was too silent in the house.

"Ed?" I called, unsure if I was just in a Zelda high and was imagining things.

"…"

"Ed? Are… are you…!" I stuttered.

"You think you can just up and kill Ganon again, huh Molly?"

"Oh no…" I sighed. I pushed the start button, and like a smart cookie I pushed save before Ed did something stupid.

"You can not defeat him again!"

I laughed. "Uh yeah I can. I have the final blow. And then its over. Done. The end. …at least until I get Twilight Princess that is."

"No! I wont let you!"

My eyes widened. "Ed…?"

"Heeeyaaah!" Ed came out from behind my T.V. in a ninja move that only the beloved Link from Zelda could have done.

I gasped.

Ed was in Link cosplay.

Holding…

A Master Sword.

Fuck.

"Ed…"

"Never again will you slay the man I LOVE!" He cried as he held up his blade of evils bane.

I blinked. "Your… omigawd. Have you been reading my new unedited Ganon/Link fanfictions?" I cried. If Ed read those, I'd never defeat Ganondorf again!

"Yes and they have shown me the light!" Ed then turned to face my precious Game Cube with his Master Sword…

" ED DON'T!"

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


End file.
